Who Needs Plastic Surgery?

Yesterday I was the recipient of a nose job. Yes, a nose job. No, there was no anesthesia involved, or even a surgeon. Here's the scoop:
My son Dude managed to break my nose 4 times during the first 4 years of his life. Because of this, I had a deformed nose. There was a hump in the middle, and it tilted to one side. I often mentioned to Doctor that at some point I would like to get it repaired. Well, the wait is over. My lovely Honey Bunch took care of it for me last night. We were all cuddling on the couch watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." Honey Bunch was sitting in my lap, and apparently she wasn't comfortable. She attempted to re situate herself and inadvertently crashed her head on my nose. Now, those who know me, know that I have extremely slow reactions. The situation went down like this:

Really (I mean REALLY) loud crack
My thoughts: Something terrible just happened. Really terrible. I can't believe that just happened. Did that really just happen? Oh, this is not good. Really not good.
Me: OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!
Doctor: What? What was that sound? Who did this to your mother?
Me: OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!
Doctor: WHAT HAPPENED!?!
Me: (Now with uncontrollable tears) OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!
Kids: I don't know. I didn't do it.
Doctor: WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT WAS THAT SOUND!!??!!
Me: Uncontrollable tears

You know its amazingly fortunate to be married to an otolaryngologist when something happens to your nose. When he was finally able to look at it, I got the best news.

Doctor: Your nose is fixed!
Me: What?
Doctor: She fixed your nose. There's no bump and its straight. Wow.

Not the way I pictured getting a nose job, but it works. :)